ALERT: Fabric consumption at all time high

Hungry bums.

 

The 80s gave us camel-toe, the 90s; bum cleavage à la Alexander McQueen. Then came the noughties with diamanté thongs pulled way above a denim waistbands (I still don’t know how that was meant to be perceived).

God bless the 80s. Cystitis became one of the most popular accessories

Now, the trend du jour is: “your bottom is starving, feed it until there’s barely any fabric left”.  On the one hand, its helping me lose my postpartum chub, by literally affecting my ability to keep food down (silver-linings).  On the other, it’s having to avert my eyes from something I feel I shouldn’t really have to confront seeing.  Especially in the cold meat section of the supermarket!

Admittedly, she has a good derrière. Can still see her gusset though.

It’s gone beyond a trend, it is now a world-wide situation that really needs tackling.  Once upon a time, one could visit open spaces without having to cover dear Granny’s eyes in case her pacemaker exploded at the sight of arse cheeks hanging out of a waistband and two pockets (if you’re lucky).

I. CAN. SEE. SKIN!

I’ll be called prudish by the liberal orthodox crowd. But I’m actually not prim at all.  What with #slutwalk, #imwithher & #askhermore #girlboss, female empowerment movements are storming ahead and women are claiming their rights to wear what they want – no longer bound by the shackles of whalebone corsets (although I admit, I’m not a huge fan of the #burnyourbra movement, I like a little support myself), women are free in a way our ancestors could never have imagined.

This is not about freedom and women’s rights. No, this is a ramble from a thirty-something woman asking: When did elegance become null and void? When did it become normal to show everything off all at once.  More mysteriously, how are young girls allowed out by their parents wearing these waistbands, let alone walking around WITH SAID PARENTS (*standing mouth open).  Who are these people and how did they not just say no to their doe-eyed daughters?!?!

Kylie showing the world how to wear a more appropriate denim short. Ahem.

What’s with this disinclination towards modesty? I’m not talking about covering up from head to toe, though some women like to do this as it creates an air of mystique, but not having everything out on show certainly is more palatable. We live in a generation (now I sound old) of full-on sex , sex, sex – there’s so much sex that it has become desensitized to the point of being boringly normal.  Where along the line was subtlety and suggestive allure lost?  Now its in yer face, fierce and quite bloody scary, actually.  Millions of Instagram selfies of scantily clad girls fuel the addiction for the Holy Grail of fame.  This is what young girls aspire to? Arse-cheeks tilted to the camera in that ubiquitous bathroom selfie (*eye-roll). It is so boring. Yawnsville.

I’m all for women’s rights and girl power, but I’d really rather not read your lips (sorry) whilst I’m enjoying a nice cup of coffee with my weekend paper.  Keep it for the beach. Here’s to covering up just a little bit more (and achieving a healthy balance of flesh to fabric).

Ashley Graham via Pinterest

Mwah! x

All opinions are my own.

The Return of the Mule

I’ve been trying to avoid this one.  Ever since the 90s, when I first experienced this trend as a fashion newbie, I’ve been aware/wary of this accessory.  My first foray was a pair of black soft suede, block heeled mules.  They were so cool.  I thought I was so cool.  Teenaged and trying to find my style, I’m not sure I nailed the style part, but I did have one thing going for me: young feet and untarnished heels.

Youth makes everything easy when it comes to clothing.  Only when one looks back do we wish we knew what we know now.  Perfectly gorgeous bodies that didn’t get as much empathy as they should have. And perfect feet.  Feet that hadn’t been squashed and squeezed and abrased and mistreated.  Feet that had no callouses, bunions, cracked heels. Just un-mottled, smooth and baby-soft.

Bliss. We didn’t even know we had to grateful for them.

Fast forward 20 years.  The mule is back. Only this time, there’s an older foot to put in it.  Nothing fully-exposes a woman like a mule.  It reveals your darkest secrets to the world.  What we can hide with Spanx and hair-dye remains between us, but a mule will out you.  Its a candid screenshot of a woman’s lifestyle just by the mere inch or three of skin on show.  It is an unforgiving  footwear piece that many love because of its slip-on ease. Who pampers her feet and who does not.  Don’t let that irony be lost on you – if the appeal of a casual slider warrants, the prep and hard work must be done beforehand.  Unsightly heels are an outfit-breaker. Nothing can save it.  Nothing.

Gucci Suede Mules

In summer, I’ve seen many attempt diversion tactics from un-kempt heels by painting toenails in candy colours.  Nah. Doesn’t work.  Good, old-fashioned putting your back into it does the trick (or getting someone to do it for you)!  Rub shea butter into those feet, scrub, pumice, soak, paraffin wax – do whatever it takes, but don’t let cracked heels out into daylight!

It doesn’t stop there.  In Autumn/Winter it may have been tempting to neglect ones feet because of the cold weather, but no.  As shown by Gucci, these new mule hybrids, lined with softest shearling, are to be worn without socks.  Your entire rear must be in good shape for these babies, but when they look good, they look really good.

To avoid looking like and old donkey from the knees down, here are the Mule Rules:

1. Heel health – prep those feet.  Pamper them until they are saturated with moisture. Hobbit feet are a no-no.
2. Exfoliate feet, heels and ankles.  Unsightly self-tan doesn’t go well with these backless beauts.
3. Blisters – avoid a mule if you’ve been hiking across The Alps.  Best wait for those sores to heal and soothe them with Vitamin E oil.
4. Buy the right size! Nothing more unsettling than foot overhang.  I find it mesmerising, gross, but mesmerising. If you happen have larger feet, you’re not going to make them look any smaller by buying the wrong size, it’ll have the adverse effect.
5. Heeled v flat.  If you struggle to walk in heels, then heeled mules are harder. Just something to bare in mind. Walking in heels is an art. Running in heels deserves medals.

Please sign up for more of my musings.  I’d love to hear what you think.

Ava x

Note: All images have been credited to their original websites

Helen Bordon showing us how it is done. 

Image: Christian Vieri Getty Images

 

Tabitha Simmons’ ‘Diana’ Mule

Alberta Ferretti Embroidered Mules

Gucci Shearling lined loafers

Tods loafers

How to care for your Cashmere

Image (c) Alabaste 2016

HOW DO I CLEAN MY CASHMERE?

Firstly, don’t over-wash your knit pieces. It probably isn’t necessary to wash your Cashmere after every wear, so clean sparingly and only if absolutely necessary. Place your Alabaste into a laundry bag and into the washing machine. Never use everyday detergent, as these are too harsh, but a soft soap such as Woolite. Wash on hand wash setting at cool or 30 degrees. Do not wring dry. Lay as flat as possible, after re-shaping, to dry.

CAN I DRY-CLEAN MY CASHMERE?

Never dry clean your Cashmere – a major faux pas for any natural fibre. Akin to giving your Cashmere a perm!

WHY DOES MY CASHMERE BOBBLE?

Due to the nature of the fibre, wearing equals abrasion which results in little balls appearing. The easy way to remove these is with a cashmere comb (coming soon on alabaste.com) or an electric de-fuzzer. They should come off very easily (unless your “Cashmere” has been blended with other fibres.

I HAVE HOLES IN MY CASHMERE. WHAT CAN I DO?

Firstly, wash your Cashmere as per the wash care instructions above. Allow to dry and place into the freezer for 48 hours. Depending on the scale of the damage, our team may be able to salvage your favourites! Contact info@alabaste.com, if you live in Cape Town- we can help!

HOW CAN I KNOW IF MY CASHMERE IS THE REAL DEAL?

It is virtually impossible to determine, by the naked eye, if Cashmere has been blended with other fibres. Due to higher demand and offering Cashmere on a mass-scale, cheaper fibres are blended together to get the costs down. The exclusivity of Cashmere warrants a mass-following but the quality can be compromised.

Each Alabaste piece has been tested by our technicians and a certificate of authenticity is provided. We strive to offer our customers only the best and we will never compromise on quality.

If you have any other questions, please send us an email: info@alabaste.com and we will gladly help.

Alabaste

 

 

 

 

New Service for Cashmere Lovers!

Are moths eating your favourite Cashmere pieces?  Alabaste is offering a new mending service for Cape Town dwellers!  Call to arrange a time on +27 793 548 959 and drop your items off at 15 Prince Street, Gardens, Cape Town.  Prices depend on damage caused!  For more information on how to care for your Cashmere please check out our Facebook Page Alabaste FAQs

Alabaste Cashmere Beanie

Coming soon… Alabaste Cashmere Beanies. You need one. Pre-order information will be available soon.

Remember Mother’s Day – Sunday 12th May

Update Your Winter Wardrobe!

Ease your way into Winter with the Fashion Editor’s choice: MONOCHROME.

This is quite possibly the simplest way to update your Autumn/Winter wardrobe.  And with such easy colours, these scarves will last you for seasons to come.  100% Cashmere AND machine-washable – low maintenance luxe at it’s best!

Email info@alabaste.com for more details.

NEW WEBSITE COMING SOON…

Mwah! x

A Bright Winter

I think this year I may well avoid my trusty navy, grey and black-hued coats for something rather more cheery.  What do you think of this green gem?

Colour Clash!

I was feeling inspired whilst watching the Oscars tonight to do a little drawing.  I think it was all to do with the beautiful dresses on show.  My goodness though – this year’s awards ceremony was a tearjerker.  When Barbs sang Memories. And then all of those non-A-listers doing what they love and winning.  Amazing!

Kristen Stewart made me cringe at her half-hearted efforts to present. When will she get over her teenage petulance and realise her awkwardness is not endearing? Bleh.  Smile love, it could be worse.

How cute when Naomi Watts and her gorgeous hubbie Liev Schreiber caught an intimate smile together.

So, not at all an Oscar-related post, but I like this colour combo.  What do you think?  Maybe a gown or two tomorrow…  Mwah! x

Hair Rebel.

Well, I’ve bloody done it and there’s no going back now!

Last night, as I was flicking through my latest copy of  British Vogue,  I was finally persuaded into doing something I previously never had the stomach for.

I cut my own hair.  Sounds dramatic, but really I created a heavy temple-to-temple fringe hoping to achieve that ‘I-don’t-give-a-f@*k’ styling steeped in irony that (exceptionally wealthy) fashion trendzoids pull off.

The first snip was nerve-wracking, but then I knew I had to commit.  Stopping now meant that there would be no other outcome than wearing my Fedora everyday for a few weeks.  I kept checking the article, re-reading the tips in the hope that whatever I was doing was right.   The first pair of scissors I used were blunt and kept pushing the hair from between the blades.  The result was a slightly graduated, hacked mess.  Vogue says this is not what you want. You want JUST a hacked mess.  Apparently, to the rest of the world this shows you have balls of steel when it comes to personal style.  As much as I know my style, what works and what doesn’t, my old-school grooming habits leave me feeling torn between a neat hairdresser cut and this DYI version.  But hell!  That’s why I am doing this in the first place.  I feel too stiff, too groomed.  I want to appear less rigid and more fun.  Surely a home-cut with my second, not-so-blunt, pair of scissors will be just the thing to give me an air of arrogant youth and womanly flair?

Maybe.

So at once, brimming with confidence and trepidation, the latter kicks in and I remember why I haven’t done this before:

1. I am not a qualified hairdresser.  If Picasso had painted his abstract works without mastering technique first, he wouldn’t have been able to create the chaos of his later works.  Chaos, like a hacked haircut requires consummate skill.

2.  Hairdressers have always warned me, heavy fringes require heavy attention.  Unless you are blessed with thick, straight hair, or a personal hairdresser who follows you everywhere, bangs’ll be high maintenance.  Which leads me to my next point.

3.  My hair type. I have a cowlick and natural wave.  Let me picture the scene.  If a touch of water hits my hair, my hair curls, frizzes and my hair ends up looking like a cross between Pippy Longstocking and the horns of a buffalo.

Pippi Longstocking. Image: Jacob Forsell

How my fringe could end up looking. Image: http://www.true-wildlife.blogspot.com

Needless to say, these three fundamental points were pooh-poohed by me in the quest for achieving perfectly imperfect hair. I would get Alexa-style tresses if it killed me.  Or maybe not.

My Hair Icon. Alexa Chung. Image: © Ava Edwards 2012

I sliced through and the end result, although not quite styled messy perfection, is fine.  I think I may have to keep practising, but now that I have made the leap this could be the way forward.  Next, perfecting the self-styled messy plait…  Quite enjoying the beginning of thrifty beauty.

Didn’t turn out too badly (in my opinion)… All I need now is a hair stylist on-hand 24/7

Have a great weekend peeps.

Mwah! x